11 Ways To Teach Your Child To Share

Children have difficulty sharing, especially young children. This is a normal part of the development process. Knowing and accepting this is the first step in helping your child grow up to be a generous person. Here's an overview of what's going on inside that possessive little mind.

1. Selfishness comes before sharing

The power to possess is a natural part of the child's growing awareness. During the second and third years, as the child goes from oneness to separateness, this little person works to establish an identity separate from mother. "I do it myself!" and "mine!" scream the headlines in the toddler's tabloid. In fact, "mine" is one of the earliest words to come out of a toddler's mouth.

The growing child develops attachments to things as well as persons. This ability to form strong attachments is important to being an emotionally healthy person. The one-year-old has difficulty sharing her mommy; the two-year-old has difficulty sharing her teddy bear. Some children get so attached to a toy that the raggedy old doll becomes part of the child's self. When asked to draw a picture of herself, four-year-old Hayden would always include her doll -- as if it were part of her body. Can you imagine convincing her to share this doll with a playmate? It was too important. She could not feel safe and secure if that doll was being handled by another child.

2. When to expect a child to share

True sharing implies empathy, the ability to get into another's mind and see things from their viewpoint. Children are seldom capable of true empathy under the age of six. Prior to that time they share because you condition them to do so. Don't expect a child less than two or 2½ to easily accept sharing. Children under two are into parallel play -- playing alongside other children, but not with them. They care about themselves and their possessions and do not think about what the other child wants or feels. But, given guidance and generosity, the selfish two-year-old can become a generous three or four-year-old. As children begin to play with each other and cooperate in their play, they begin to see the value of sharing.

Attachment-parented kids may be more sensitive to others' needs and thus more willing to share, or they may be more aware of their own need to preserve their sense of self by not sharing. It's easier to share with someone less powerful than you or less threatening, (i.e., someone younger,)—a visitor rather than a sibling, a quiet child rather than a demanding one. Much depends on your child's temperament. Follow your child's cues in judging when he is ready to share.

Even at four or five years of age, expect selective sharing. A child may reserve a few precious possessions just for himself. The child is no more likely to share her treasured teddy or tattered blanket than you would share your wedding ring or the heirloom shawl your mother gave you. Respect and protect your child's right to his own possessions. Kids know kids. At four, Matthew sized up his friend Johnny, an impulsive, curious child who would have been a natural durability tester for a toy manufacturer. Johnny explored every moving part, pulled and twisted them; only the strongest toy could survive this child. Matthew recognized his friend's destructive nature and hid his more valuable and breakable toys when he saw Johnny coming. We supported Matthew's wisdom.

3. Don't force a child to share

Instead, create attitudes and an environment that encourage your child to want to share. There is power in possession. To you, they're only toys. To a child, they're a valuable, prized collection that has taken years to assemble. Respect the normal possessiveness of children while you encourage and model sharing. Then watch how your child operates in a group play setting -- you'll learn a lot about your child and about what kind of guidance he'll need. If your child is always the grabber, he'll learn that other kids won't want to play with him. If he's always the victim, he needs to learn the power of saying "no." In the preschool years your child naturally goes through a "what's in it for me" stage, which will progress into a more socially aware "what's in it for us" stage. Gradually -- with a little help from parents -- children learn that life runs more smoothly if they share.

4. Get connected

A child gives as he is given to. We have observed that children who received attachment parenting during the first two years are more likely to become sharing children in the years to come, for two reasons. Children who have been on the receiving end of generosity follow the model they've been given and become generous persons themselves. Also, a child who feels right is more likely to share. An attachment-parented child is more likely to have a secure self-image. He needs fewer things to validate his self-worth. In taking a poll of attachment- parented children in our practice, we found they needed fewer attachment objects. They are more likely to reach for mother's hand than cling to a blanket.

5. Model generosity

Monkey see, monkey do. If big monkey shares, so will little monkey. When someone asks to borrow one of your "toys," make this a teachable moment: "Mommy is sharing her cookbook with her friend." Let your sharing shine. Share with your children: "Want some of my popcorn?" "Come sit with us -- we'll make room for you." If you have several children, especially if they are close in age, there will be times when there isn't enough of you to go around. Two children can't have one hundred percent of one mommy or daddy. Do the best you can to divide your time fairly. "No fair" may be the single most frequently repeated complaint of childhood. Try to be an equal opportunity parent as much as possible, while teaching your children that other factors come into play in day-to-day life.

6. Play games

Play "Share Daddy." Placing the two-year-old on one knee and the four-year-old on the other teaches both children to share their special person. Even a two-year-old can play "Share Your Wealth." Give your two-year-old some flowers, crackers, blocks, or toys, and ask her to share them with everyone in the room: "Give one to big brother. Give one to Daddy." You want to convey the message that sharing is a normal way of life and sharing spreads joy. Lauren found a piece of chocolate in my (Martha's) purse the other day. She happily ate it and then showed me a second piece she'd found. I told her that piece was for Stephen and Matthew to share and asked her to go give it to them, thinking to myself she'd just eat it on her way. I didn't bother to go with her to see the "inevitable." Bill later told me how cute it was when she walked up and doled out the halves, one to Stephen and one to Matthew."

TEACHING LIFE PRINCIPLES THROUGH PLAY A good way to model principles to a young child is through play. Games hold a child's attention, allowing lessons to sink in, in the spirit of fun. Children are more likely to remember what they have learned through play than what they've heard in your lectures. Consider the character traits that are fostered during a simple game: humor, fairness, honesty, generosity, concentration, flexibility, obedience to rules, sensitivity, and the all-American value of competitiveness. And, sorry to say, unhealthy traits such as selfishness, jealousy, lying, and cheating can also be experienced through play. Expect play time to reflect how life is to be lived, and tolerate only principled play.

7. When to step in

While we don't expect toddlers to be able to share, we use every opportunity we can to encourage taking turns. Teach your child how to communicate her needs to her friends. Say something like, "When Catherine is all done with the car, then you can ride it. Ask her when she will be done" or "Hold out your hand and wait; she'll give you the doll when she's ready." When a toy squabble begins, sometimes it's wise not to rush in and interfere. Give children time and space to work it out among themselves. Stay on the sidelines and observe the struggle. If the group dynamics are going in the right direction and the children seem to be working the problem out among themselves, stay a bystander. If the situation is deteriorating, intervene. Self-directed learning -- with or without a little help from caregivers -- has the most lasting value.

8. Time-sharing

Using a timer can help you referee toy squabbles. Johnny and Jimmy are having trouble sharing the toy. You intervene by asking each one to choose a number and the one who chooses the closest number to the one you thought of gets the toy first. You then set the timer. Two minutes is about right for younger children. You can ask older ones to wait longer. When the timer goes off, the toy goes to the second child for the same amount of time (though he has probably forgotten that he wanted it). You may have to sell children on the plan with an animated, simple explanation. Walk them through a cycle, starting with the older one or the one more likely to cooperate. For example, Stephen has the toy for two minutes. The buzzer goes off. Extract the toy from Stephen with talking and encouragement and hand it to Lauren, reassuring Stephen it will be his turn again when the buzzer goes off. It may take several cycles before a child can hand over the toy on her own, smiling because she knows she will get it back. A family in our practice who uses the timer method told us that it worked so well that the older sibling runs to her mother saying, "Mom, set the timer. Suzy won't share." External and internal timers help children learn valuable lessons for later life – how to take turns and how to delay gratification.

If the time method doesn't work, time-out the toy. Put it on the shelf and explain that the toy stays there until they learn to share it. Children may sulk for a while as the toy sits unused, but sooner or later the realization hits that it's better to share than to forfeit the toy completely. They will learn to compromise and cooperate so that everyone winds up winning.

9. Plan ahead

If your child has trouble sharing his toys and a playmate is coming over, ask the playmate's parent to send toys along. Kids can't resist toys that are new to them. Soon your child will realize that he must share his own toys in order to get his hands on his playmate's. Or, if you are bringing your sharing child to the home of a non-sharing child, bring toys along. Some children develop a sense of justice and fairness at a very young age. One of our children didn't want to return to a friend's house because "he didn't share." We made this a teachable moment by praising him: "Aren't you glad you like to share? I bet kids like to come to your house."

10. Protect your child's interests

If your child clings to his precious possessions, respect this attachment, while still teaching him to be generous. It's normal for a child to be selfish with some toys and generous with others. Guard the prized toy. Pick it up if the other child tries to snatch it. You be the scapegoat. Ease your child into sharing. Before play begins, help your child choose which toys he will share with playmates and which ones he wants to put away or reserve for himself. You may have to play referee: "This is Susie's special birthday toy. You may play with these other ones until she's ready to share." Respect ownership. The larger the family, the more necessary it is to arrive at a balance between respecting ownership and teaching sharing. Point out, "That's Collin's toy... but this one belongs to the whole family." And, of course, encourage trading. Children easily learn the concept of family toys, such as television, which everyone shares. The mother of one large family with four close-in-age boys had a policy of the family toy pool -- gifts were enjoyed by the new owner for one hour, then they joined the pool of toys. Special toys that needed individual care were set apart in the owner's room.

11. Give your child opportunities to share

To encourage sharing, Janet gave four-year-old Benjamin a whole cookie with the request, "Please give some of the cookie to Robin." He broke off a piece and gave it to her. It was good practice for Benjamin and, from his modeling, two-year-old Robin learned about sharing. Oftentimes, you can teach values to your younger children by using the older children as models. In this case, both the teacher and the student got a lesson in values, and Janet breathed a sigh of relief that Benjamin came through with the desired behavior.

Repost from Ask Dr. Sears

April is Sharity Month!

April is Sharity month!

This month, we will be fulfilling our philanthropic duties as a member of the community!
We have chosen to work on gathering resources for an NGO, Refuge for the Refugees (click to see the Facebook page!) which provides education for Myanmar refugee children in Malaysia.

Here's how YOU can help:

1. We will be collecting donations from parents throughout the first three weeks of April. Parents can contribute money and school materials for the children's use.

2. We will be visiting the school at the end of the month to send them our contributions. We will be bringing along our 5 and 6 year old students who would like to take part with us. Our current plan is to have the students distribute their donations, join in on a lesson, and have lunch with the children. Parents can join us when we visit the school and can also donate lunch for our students and the Burmese children.


Parents may choose to give monetary donations or material donations in the form of school supplies.


HERE'S WHAT THEY NEED:

• stationary for students (pencils, erasers, rulers, colour pencils, etc)
• exercise books
• stationary for teachers (marker pens, pens, ink refills, etc)
• story books
• art & craft materials (craft paper, glue, etc)

What they really DO need is funds. The school operates on a monthly expenditure of RM 1,200.00 ONLY and we hope to collect enough to at least lift this burden off their shoulders for a month.

We truly hope for parents' contribution, help and support in our mission to teach our students to share and give to those who are less fortunate.

Easter Egg Hunt!

Today we taught the children that Easter is a celebration of life, and so we hunt for eggs on Easter as eggs are symbols of life and birth.

Here are some photos from our little Easter Egg Hunt this morning:

After their egg hunt, the children received little goodie bags as Easter treats.

We hope everyone enjoyed their Easter celebration as our teachers and kids sure did!

WE'RE READY FOR EASTER!

Are you?!

Happy Easter from Kinderland

Kinderland Sunway SPK Damansara wishes you and your family a Happy Easter!

Let's Make Some Fruit Salad

The nursery students made some yummy and healthy fruit salad for snack last week.

Here's how you can enjoy some at home:

Step 1 : Choose some fruits! The more colour choices, the better! Here we have some red apples, green and purple seedless grapes, yellow Chinese pears, and oranges.

Step 2 : Cut up the fruits into small pieces! Make sure you use safe knives and have adult help.

Step 3 : Stir them all together and mix the fruits well!

Step 4 : Serve it up and enjoy!

Remember This!

Fun in the Sun!

The K2 students had some sun today when they were taken out to the field for some playtime.
The students had a half-hour session of pass-the-ball and kick-ball with the teachers!
Kids had fun in the open space and playing with their friends as it gave them the opportunity to explore their neighbourhood just a little, and to run around unconfined.

Even though it was just a short one, the KinderFit session sure made us sweat!
Here's to hoping there will be more outdoor play in the future to keep the students healthy and happy :)

Challenge Accepted!

This is Mr Elmo Francis, a Sri Lankan mountaineer.

Recently, he pledged to climb 7000 metres in the Himalayas if 100 schools promotes sustainability, and we have accepted the challenge!

So here's what you need to know about the Earth Hour movement:

The Earth Hour Movement first began 9 years ago in Sydney Australia where 2.2 million Sydneysiders and 2.1 thousand businesses switched off their lights for an hour. Since then, many more countries have taken participation in this annual event, Malaysia included.

What is Earth Hour?
For an hour, once a year, Earth Hour asks people from around the world to switch off non-essential lights. However, it is not a complete blackout as this may affect safety. It is a voluntary action by its participants to show their commitment to an act of change that benefits the planet.

Why should I turn off my lights?
While many question the impact of turning off their lights for an hour, once a year, people forget that the Earth's sustainability depends on the small act of saving by each of its residents; saving electricity, saving water, saving energy, saving fuel. Now, imagine what 1 hour of no electrical power use in Kuala Lumpur alone, could do!


When do I turn them off?
This year, the Earth Hour is set on the 23rd of March 2013 from 8.30 pm - 9.30 pm


What will I do in the dark?
Here are some of our suggestions!

1. Have a family movie night! You can extend this hour to the full length of the movie to make up for the energy you've used to run your tv!

2. How about a romantic family dinner? With candle lights and home-cooked food!

3. Picnic at the park? Surround your family in the light of tea candles and have some family time out on the grass.

Can you suggest more?


We hope parents will participate in this event. If you do, please send us photos or post them on Facebook (tag us!) so we can share them with our community too!

The Pizza Project!

As part of the integrated learning syllabus, the students are currently learning about Food and Nutrition.
Last Tuesday, the K1 students of Kinderland Sunway SPK Damansara 1 made their own pizzas as their morning snack!

This is a truly simple recipe and can be done at home, too, with the kids. Letting the children choose toppings from an array of healthy ingredients help children eat better and healthier!

Here's how you can make your own home made pizzas

Ingredients:

1 loaf plain white bread
1 can tomato puree/ tomato paste
1 capsicum, sliced thinly
1 red onion, sliced thinly
10 button mushrooms, sliced
1/4 pineapple, diced
1 pack sausages, sliced
1 block mozzarella cheese, grated
Oregano to taste

Instructions:

1. On a plain bread base, spread some tomato puree.
2. Choose toppings according to preference.
3. Sprinkle some oregano.
4. Top with lots of cheese.
5. Bake in a preheated oven at 200C for 10 minutes or until cheese is has fully melted and bread crusts has browned slightly.
6. ENJOY SOME PIPING HOT PIZZAS!

Food tip: 

Give the children a variety of coloured toppings to choose from! Having the purple of onions, green and red of capsicums, yellow of pineapples and brown of mushrooms sprinkled on your child's snack makes it not only pretty but also super healthy!

Fire Safety Awareness Day

On Monday, 11th March 2013, The students of Kinderland SPK 1 had a Fire Safety Awareness Day during which they were given a briefing on fire safety. Through the briefing, the children learned what precautions they should take in order to minimise the likelihood of a fire happening as well as how to face different types of fires and what to do when they are in one.


Among the fire safety policies that the children were taught include:

1. Taking note of fire exits when they go somewhere and maintaining clear exits in homes.
2. Complying with electrical safety codes; i.e: one electrical item to a plug, use of extensions only for small electrical items to avoid overloading wiring.
3. Placing and maintaining proper fire extinguishers.
4. Maintaining a fire alarm system to detect fire at early stages.
5. Prohibiting flammable materials in certain areas of the home such as near stoves and electrical power points.


The children were also taught what to do in case of a fire and how to put one out.

So what should you really do in case of a fire?

Here's what!

Always practice safety at home and we hope this info helps!

Yummy, Yummy, Baked Macaroni!

As part of the lesson on healthy eating, the K2 students learned healthy ways of cooking food. One of these ways is to bake! So, the teachers and kids rallied together and made some baked macaroni for lunch last Friday.

First, the main duties were divided among the students:

IJ was on vege duty! She had to rip out the mushroom stalks and tear the mushroom into chunks.

Yong Jie was put on cheese duty where she grated up some mozzarella to top the baked macaroni!

Yu Ming was our sauce master! He was asked to stir up the cream of mushroom to perfection!

Jia En filled our cream sauce with chicken chunks so we could have some protein in our meal!

Once the sauce had all the ingredients in, Shaun and Alyssa were put together to scoop up the sauce and mix it with the macaroni.

What works? Team work!

We then scooped them into trays and topped them off with some mozzarella and cheddar!

Just before it gets popped in the oven.

Fresh out of the oven!

Yummy, yummy, baked macaroni!

Soon after their lessons, the children were served with their baked macaroni!

The boys can't wait to get a taste of their handiwork 

Some for me and some for you :)

The children truly enjoyed their meal and many of them had second and third servings!

A tip for mummies: Getting children involved in the preparation of their meals helps them understand why they should eat healthy and is a good way of getting them to eat more!

We're hoping for more cooking sessions in the future! Parents, do share with us if you know simple recipes for kids that you and your children love making together!

Till next time :)